Happy young couple holding hands

You hear it all the time in relationship quarrels. “I need some distance,” “You’re not giving me enough distance,” “We need to put more distance between us.” And then suddenly you have it; the long-distance relationship.

It should be everything you ever wanted, right? Now, you couldn’t crowd each other if you wanted to. You’re miles away from one another. Even if you had 24-hour face time, you couldn’t possibly crowd one another – it’s like having the freedom of a single person with the security a relationship. What could be better? It’s the best of both worlds!

And then, it hits you. Are you even in a relationship at all? After all, you never have anyone to take you places, you’re sleeping alone, and you’re still the third wheel at most occasions. How long can this go on before you have to change your relationship status on your social media profile?

But then, you do love the one you love, even if you’re not with him or her that much, so how do you keep a long-distance relationship alive? Here are a few tips on keeping the flame flickering even if you’re far away.

Risky Pix

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Of course, you don’t want to put anything on social media that may cost you a job in the future but sending a few shots of that bikini bod can go a long way to keeping romance alive.

Get creative with what you send. Think about sending him PG-rated part of your body presented in a sexy way, like sitting in a seductive pose with your legs crossed and off to the side, a picture of you dressed in your lingerie with his work shirt over it? You can even send him a close up of your lips. There are a lot of ways to stir up romance and still leaving something to the imagination.

If you’ve got a vivid imagination, let it soar. Think up a few fantasy settings to share with your partner and plan on acting them out when you meet. It may create just the right amount of sexual tension to keep things interesting.

Expect to Learn

People change whether you’re there or not, and that can be tough to accept. All of a sudden, you may start hearing about a new person or a new restaurant or bar that your partner likes, and you may feel like he’s growing apart from you.

These feelings are natural, but you need to expect them and make sure they do not interfere with your relationship. If you start questioning your partner too much, you’ll come off as overbearing and he or she may react by avoiding you or putting even more distance between you. Trust your partner, it’s the only way you can expect him to trust you back.

Talk Dirty

Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

It worked when Patty Labelle asked it in the original “Lady Marmalade “as it was when it was released in 1971, and then when Cristina Aguilera asked it again in 2001. That just goes to show, that talking dirty has never gone out of fashion, and it’s not likely to any time soon.

Ok, so we’re not all Shakespeares in the art of dirty language, but texting has made it a lot less awkward. Just look up some dirty phrases online and send one on over. It’s sure to bring up a lot of interesting conversation.

Another thing: Talk is sexy, even if it’s not about sex. Don’t be afraid to overshare. Talk about your day, about your thoughts, about the weather, any excuse your partner reason to remind your partner of your intoxicating personality.

Use technology to your advantage. Even the busiest schedules can make room for a daily video chat. Seeing someone a few minutes a day is one of the best ways to connect, even if it is through a computer monitor, and if you want to incorporate some of the dirty stuff, you’ll never hear a word from us.

Visit Often

Second only to dirty talk is the occasional visit. There’s nothing like seeing someone in person to make them appreciate how much they mean to you.

Since these visits are going to become the last memories this person has of you for a while, you want to make sure they’re good enough to go down in the books, so here are some tips for making them extra special:

Remember when birthdays used to mean something? When you would spend days picking out the decorations? Planning every second, so not a minute went to waste? How you counted down the days and couldn’t stop talking about it? Well, get ready to relive some old memories, because that’s what this visit has to be for both of you.

Plan every second, talk about it constantly, make reservations at a luxury hotel, book a massage, remember, you’ve got to go big or go home on this

Other things to keep in mind:

Make sure to get your travel logistics straight so none of your time together is wasted on figuring out where to meet at an airport or train station, even consider meeting at a halfway point, that is convenient for both of you. The less time spent in travel the more time spent together

Send Gifts

What do you get when you combine Amazon with a long distance relationship? A lot of gifts!

Wrapping gift with red ribbon

Sending gifts is always a “do” for long-distance lovers, and when you do it, there are tons of gifts designed just for couples in your predicament, and flowers don’t even top the list.

If you’re a sucker for romance, cuff bracelets are a wonderful way to remind you that you’re cuffed to one another. Have them stamped with secret messages to make them all the more special. There are also sterling silver two initial necklaces, and maybe best of all, a mixtape you can make on a flash drive made to look just like a retro cassette! It’s got all the charm of the old school with all the “bomb” of the new school.

Thumb Kiss

And speaking of the “old school,” remember the double nameplate necklaces? This may be right up there with them when it comes to the cheesiness factor, but the thumb kiss is actually a really cute and sentimental way of staying in touch.

If you want to do thumb kiss with your partner, start by downloading the ‘Couple’ App. Then you and your partner can both press your thumbs to the screen so the other can see it, and when they meet, your phone vibrates! Admit it, it’s kind of adorable!

Set Rules (Handling MOPES – Members of the Opposite Sex)

Now, here’s when things start to get serious. Probably the most common reason that long distance relationships end up in failure is the lack of clarity about expectations when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Sure, they’re going to pop up in your partner’s lives, but when should they be perceived as a threat if at all?

Make sure to set down very clear rules about how you expect your partner to respond to MOPES. Should your partner decline all invitations from members of the opposite sex, or is it ok to meet with a co-worker for lunch? Are there certain boundaries that need to be set in terms of communication? Are the rules for when you’re together different from the rules for when you’re apart?

Setting these rules may not be fun, but if you don’t set them, the outcome isn’t likely to be either. Make sure to discuss these situations in depth and at length with your partner. It will make your relationship stronger in the end.

Avoid Dangerous Situations

You expect your partner to be faithful: you need to practice what you preach!

If you’re invited to an occasion in which you expect to be drinking or socializing, the best thing to do is tell your partner beforehand. Tell your partner where you’re going and what you’re doing, and most importantly, let him or her know they have nothing to worry about. This way, you’re not only making a promise to your partner, you’re making a promise to yourself. By informing your partner, you’re enforcing your decision not to do anything which would displease him or her and giving him a little more power in a situation he feels powerless over.

Also, try to resist the urge to flirt. Men and women do it naturally, and it may seem harmless, but it can and often does, lead to danger.

Set A Goal

Sometimes long-distance relationships become so long and so distant, they may start to feel nonexistent. The best way to ensure your relationship is going somewhere is for you and your partner to make sure you both have a shared vision for its future.

How much longer will your relationship continue in this way? What are we looking to get from this relationship? Will we settle down and if so, when? These are all questions you have to ask your partner in order to make sure the relationship is worth pursuing.

Schedule some time with your partner to make a timeline. Pinpoint the estimated time spans that you plan to spend together and times you plan to spend apart and set an end goal. Even though you are living apart now, you need to make sure your future includes one another.

Enjoy Your Time Alone

If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with. Look at this time as a time to grow and a time to spend with family and friends.

Woman reading on the couch

Pick up a new hobby or join a gym. Use this as an opportunity to develop your own identity, not just in relation to your partner. It will help you expand your own levels of understanding and make you more interesting to your partner as well.

Do Activities Together

One of the most important parts of a relationship is doing things together, and that’s what makes LDRs so difficult. How can you do things together when your miles apart? Here are a few things you can probably manage.

• Take an online quiz together

How about the “Bra or Bikini” quiz? Or what about the “Which Olsen Twin are you?” Just think of the compelling things you can find out about one another! What if you both turn out to be Mary Kate? Can one Olsen twin be compatible with herself?

• Making a Playlist together

There’s a whole bunch of LDR appropriate songs out there that will be sure to bring up some of the most heart-wrenching memories of one another?

Can you listen to Avril Lavigne singing “When you walk away, I count the steps that you take” in “When You’re Gone” without shedding a tear, or what about “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” (to keep me from you) by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell? Even Mr. Spock would have to admit to feeling just a bit of a pang after hearing those.

• Create A Bucket List Together

If you knew you would die in a year, what would you regret having never done? What would you do if you had all the time in the world and all the money to go with it?

Making a bucket list is a great way to find out about your partner and bond with him or her at the same time, and who knows you may actually end up getting a trip to Italy out of it.

Are you in an LDR? How are you handling it? What are your tricks for keeping love alive in the millennium? Let us know!